Peace and Love People!
I hope everyone has had a great week!
Mine; was indescribable. It felt like a long week, even though we had Monday off. Well, maybe not so unspeakable. Grades are due, and I was working on grading papers and trying to keep up with lesson plans. At home, I was trying to get my head in gear for the Gold Sale starting this Friday in my Etsy shop and trying to figure out what to write for you lovely people today.
I feel like I’m ready for my shop sale, but for today’s story, I’m not altogether sure. It usually takes me a while to come up with an idea to write, and I think and imagine all week and often come up with something creative by the end of the week. I felt at a loss this week. I was tossing around an idea for a novel or blog. Not sure I could write this particular story long enough for a novel, so to me, that’s a perfect idea for my blog. But I couldn’t think of where to go with it. If I begin writing it, I would like to follow it to the end. I’m not sure I’m all that interested in it anymore. I was in love with the idea when it first came to mind.
So, let’s see how this goes. Let me know what you think.
Enjoy the journey.
I open my eyes, wondering why I felt like I had weights over my legs and chest. I feel crushed between two walls. I take a deep breath and try to move. The pressure is unyielding; it moved with me.
“What the fuck?” I mumble. I hear groaning, and the weight across my chest releases me. I scoot towards the top of my bed and look around. “Raj, Charles?” I whisper and rub my eyes.
I try hard to remember how I ended up in bed with the two men I’ve been dating for over a year. What in the world is my first thought before I remember that I didn’t feel like going out last night, and both of them came to check up on me.
“Galat kya hai?” Raj mumbles, turning towards me. His American and Indian accent blending.
“Kuccha nahīṁ. Sone ke lie vaapas jao.”
“Apane hindee behatar ho raha hai. You know I don’t sleep well without you.”
“Thank you. You sleep just fine at your apartment.”
“How many times are we on the phone sleeping?”
I sigh and move down to curl against him. He pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. He starts to put his leg over mine, but I stop him. “Can I breathe, please?”
“Hūṁ,” he replies, pulling me into him. As if I can get any closer.
Raj is a cuddler. He’s strong and caring. When I say strong, I mean physically, as well, he takes pride in his rippling muscles. I fell in love with him after one of my more vulnerable times. We had just made love for the first time, and I felt as though he would bolt, now that he had gotten what he wanted.
I am a mixed heritage child. I claim African American, but my grandparents and great grandparents on both sides were black, white, Indonesian, and Indian. I look, well it depends on your lense, I guess. Most white people accept me because I am light enough that they can see I’m not all black, my hair does many things depending on the weather. Other nationalities often don’t know what to make of me; it totally depends on how I wear my hair. You can tell I’m not mixed with what most people consider Asian because my eyes don’t look it. If I had my cousin’s chinky eyes, I could pass for anything.
Why did I say all of that? Oh yes, I was talking about how I thought Raj would jet. I happen to like Asian men. I think they’re beautiful. But I stay away. I’ve had bad experiences with them. They seem to think Black women are just as exotic as most men think Asian women are. Although for black women, that means perfect for a lay and leave. I was fooled once, and only once. When I feel like they are only into me because of the sway of my hips and full lips, I make an excuse to avoid them. You know, I have to wash my hair, or my mom needs me to move the couch. They get the hint. Raj seemed different somehow. And after dating for a couple of months, I let him have me. He wouldn’t let me leave his bed that night. And he kept calling. At first, we weren’t intimate often. We continued to get to know each other. It’s been over a year.
Charles, on the other hand, was my bestie. Yes, a black girl can have a white dude as a best friend. We so weren’t into each other for years. Charles was my best friend from the second week of high school. He had a crush on my then best friend and asked me to hook them up. When they broke up their sophomore year, she expected me to stop talking to Charles, but Charles was real, and I appreciated that. We were also inseparable from the time I introduced her to him. If you wanted to find Charles, you would look for me and vice versa. She got jealous and thought I wanted him. Charles and I were on the floor, laughing when she confronted us. There was no way. But ten years later he ended up in my bed. He knew about Raj and didn’t mind.
Now Raj was pissed, of course. We had been dating a few months but had not made it monogamous. He adapted, I guess you can say. He never pressured me to chose. He did keep asking for at least six months as to whether I had any more men.
So I’ve been seeing both of them for a year. But never had I been with both men at the same time or within the same week. ‘Fuck.’ Will I ever go back to one man at a time? Last night was so beautiful, passionate and fucking hot.
Just thinking about it made me wet. I was still naked and began to grind against Raj.
“What are you doing?”
“As if you don’t know.”
“Didn’t think you’d be up for morning sex after last night. I thought we wore you out.”
“You did. I rested, and now I want you.”
“Just me?” Raj asked as he lay on his back. I climbed on top of him and slid him inside of me.
“Yes,” I replied, smiling at the glimmer in his eyes. “Oh, Raj.”
“I would be so jealous if I didn’t have to go to work.”
“Charles, it’s Sunday.”
“So, I’ve got a presentation due tomorrow, and I blew it off to have a sexathon with you two last night.”
Charles’s so handsome; I wink at him. I love his crooked smile and dazzling green eyes. And yes, his body is beautiful. He blows me a kiss.
“I gotta go home. I won’t get any work done with horny and obliging over here.”
“Obliging?” asks Raj.
“Tell me you wouldn’t do anything for gorgeous over here.”
Raj smiles. “She knows I would.”
“Exactly, and so would I. I’d fuck her all day if I could. And it’s Sunday; she will stay in bed, fuck, and binge watch Netflix before she orders dinner. She’s lazy and incorrigible on Sundays.”
“Fine you may leave, will I see you tomorrow?”
“Maybe. Isn’t Monday Raj’s day?”
“Who said I was leaving.”
“Yep, you’d do anything for her. I’ll see how my day goes.”
“And you wouldn’t?” Asks Raj.
“I stayed last night, didn’t I?”
Charles walks over to the bed and bends over to slowly kiss me before heading to the door. I sigh as I close my eyes and contract around Raj.
“Autumn, do you really want us both?”
I look at Raj. I had been trying to figure out who I should stop seeing for days, weeks even. Neither of them had pressured me, but I didn’t think it was fair to keep either of them from finding their life partner. I thought I should choose. Shouldn’t I. I mean, society would not be accepting of such a lifestyle. Shit, would our parents? Either way, I was in no way closer to making a decision now then I was when I started thinking of it. Could I keep them both?
“I love both of you. Yes.” Shit, did I say that out loud?
“You love me?” Raj smiled as he pulled me to him. Raj kissed me passionately before he turned us over. “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw you,” he said before he plowed into me with such zeal.
Well, I hope you enjoyed chapter 1 of ‘Loving Autumn’. Check back next week for Chapter 2.
Peace & Love