Make Up Your Mind

Over the last decade I have been stuck between dreams and reality. I’m sure you’ve been there. You want to do X but the reality of building your dream and having a limited budget puts the breaks on. Preaching the choir?

I was raised to graduate and get a job. Like many Americans, our parents have a game plan for us to succeed and many of us buy into the plan. I know I did. I went to school. Got my BA and my MA and thought I was good to go. I’m sure many people followed that path. And for some careers it is a must, non negotiable. But it’s not for everyone.

As I said, it was good, mostly. We all struggle on different levels. But my world was blown up with Covid. Again, like many. As a teacher they wanted all teachers in NYC to get the shot. Some agree, some don’t. Here was the problem. They found a partial solution. Get tested weekly, come to work. But when it came down to pushing the ‘solution’ that the government had bought millions of doses, guess who won out. So it went from testing weekly to get it or lose your job.

Thousands in NYC and other states, people got it. Me and about 3 thousand other Board of Education employees, didn’t. And that lead me to this world. Now many of you might agree, most don’t seem to.

If you are awake, you have realized that the ‘solution’ was a dud. Because something that was suppose to help you build an immunity, works only temporarily. Huh? And they’ve gone so far as to change the definition. Still confused?

When private business controls what happens in the government, making money rules. I will say no more. You figure it out.

Anyway, this lead me to finding my own path. I started tutoring remotely. But an 80% reduction in income is a sinking ship. I’m still baling water. I refuse to give up.

I started to follow my dream path, I’d want to travel. I’m writing and publishing my book. I became a travel coordinator, only for my income to be only a few hundred dollars over the monthly fee. The problem, these are no immediate money makers. Well, not legally anyway. So the one that makes money, even thought it isn’t my dream takes precedence. Until it doesn’t.

Chasing money is never the solution, but when you’re trying to survive, it’s hard not to try and find an immediate solution.

It’s a work in progress. Building a dream takes years. Maybe longer when you’re trying to stay a float.